Well, the "Blizzard" has begun. There are lots of entertaining names for it... Snowpocolypse, Snowmageddon, etc.

It is the first blizzard since 1985 in Missouri... But I was prepared. I went out Monday and stocked up on things to work on during the blizzard. I have stuff I can do. Work that needs to be done...

And yet, I'm not doing any of it. I'm watching the damn snow.

I hate snow. I really hate snow. I don't know why I live in a climate where snow happens on a yearly basis.

The only thing I can honestly say I've done... I've experimented with making bath bombs. I'm not sure how the first batch is going to turn out. They do not currently look like what I expected. They rose, much like a cake.

Too much liquid perhaps? I don't know... and won't know for 24 hours what happens... Tomorrow they will have set up and I will take one and drop it in a bath tub full of warm water. If it does what I expect, well I'll know and adjust the process. If they don't, I'll start from scratch and try a different method.

And I did get three new items posted to Etsy. A lovely pink scarf, Strawberries & Cream Lotion and Strawberries & Cream body mist. Good times.

My SO is stuck at in the bootheel. His classes let out this morning at 10 am, but his boss told him not to attempt to come home. Understandable, there is talk of closing the interstates and highways.

Good chance darts will be cancelled tomorrow night. Good chance my SO will still be in Southern Missouri tomorrow. The State has requistioned additional help... The National Guard was mobilized yesterday morning, but today... Today they called on all the major construction companies... If you have the equipment, please help us move the snow.

My father is among those. He is currently driving a high-lift around, clearing as much road as he can. He is expecting to work until well after dark. He is coming here to sleep on our couch because he is supposed to return to work by 6 am tomorrow morning.

Missouri and "blizzard" do not go together. We get 10 inches of snow and everyone acts like the sky is falling... 22 inches and... well, the governor has declared a "State of Emergency."

But at least I can work. Now, if only I had the motivation. I am keeping my drive-way clean... I go out, like clockwork every 20 minutes and shovel the shit into the yard. My father could probably drive his Nissan Titan over the snow tonight, but... better safe than sorry. I do not want to be stuck with him all day tomorrow if he were to get stuck. I love him, but our relationship is best conducted in short bursts of communication.

And the snow continues... Time to go shovel some more.

They are expecting a major snow storm to hit the Midwest in the next 36 hours. The I-70 corridor is expecting between 10 and 15 inches of snow with ice under it. The I-44 corridor is expecting even more... as much as 23 inches.

My SO is in Marble Hill, Missouri today and tomorrow... he is scheduled to return tomorrow night. He is just south of the I-44 corridor, he'll have to pass through it to get home. It's roughly a 5 hour drive. He'll return, I have no doubt, but how long it takes... now that is a different story. And he will be returning to an area that is along the I-70 corridor... From one disaster to another. And he is returning hauling an empty trailer on a 4x4, 1-ton truck. I have reservations about this.

My Vatti (father) is on the other side of the state, also along the I-44 corridor, except he's smack dab in the middle, working on a job in Springfield, Missouri. He drives a semi (a tractor/trailer)... The bed of it will also be empty, but at least the trailer he drives has some serious weight to it. Designed to carry construction equipment. But his semi doesn't handle ice and snow the way a car or truck does. I have reservations about his return tomorrow as well.

Both have to weight until evening. They are expecting the worst for our roads and conditions in general. "Heavy snow acculation and white-out conditions" all day tomorrow.

And I think the storm has already started. Earlier than expected.

I awoke early enough to head to the grocery store. At 6:53 am, it began sprinkling.

When I came out of the store and got back in the car, it was 7:38 am. It was no longer sprinkling, it was rain. Good, steady, pounding rain. Part of the ice we are expected to have on the ground?

The man in line in front of me was on his cell phone. I could hear the conversation. National Guardsman. He's being activated. He's to report for duty. He hurries the cashier along. He only has 1 hour to be where he is supposed to be.

The store is packed. Jammed with people. I had to get necessities; milk, disherwasher soap, quick and easy to fix Asian food, soda, things like that.

As I drive home, I notice the gas stations are full. Not a pump to be had and lines are starting to form.

Missourians are preparing. Cinder trucks are already on the road.

I get home, unload my bounty and spread salt on the drive. It won't help the 10 inches of snow, but it will keep ice from forming before then. I spread it on my sidewalk and front porch while I'm at it. I have a couple more errands to run.

Three more stores... They aren't exactly necessities I'm picking up, but supplies to keep working in case we get stuck at the house for a couple of days. I have some new things to try, I'm going to make my own molds for soap and start making bath bombs. I need silicone molding material, citric acid and I have another coupon to use, at another store... Get them all this morning. Give me something to do over the next couple of days.

I feel like I'm in a disaster movie. It will be even worse tomorrow. I will keep my phone handy, wait for phone calls to come in. "I am leaving Springfield." "Dusty and I are leaving Marble Hill."

Call me when you get home. Don't use your cell phones while you drive. Watch out for high winds, drifting snow banks and please tell me you've packed an emergency kit in case you get stuck somewhere...

8:10 am, I am watching out my front door. Yeah, the heating bill is going to suck, but I am watching weather conditions... It's raining harder. Hard enough to make the stalks of flowers move. Hard enough to make the Evergreens shake.

You'd think Missourians didn't know what to do with snow and ice. It isn't like we don't get it every year. But... Not these kinds of accumulation... We rarely get that an entire winter. Every couple of years though, we get slammed with one. And every couple of years, that "one" turns out to be a disaster. We aren't Minnesotans or Wisconites, we don't get large amounts of snow all the time.

My nephew just called. He's an EMT Trainee. He's been called to the hospital already. They are also being put on alert. The worst of it isn't here yet, isn't supposed to hit until the night time hours... and yet, we prepare...

And the storm rolls in...

As I watch the Pro-Bowl (Go AFC!!!), I am reflecting on the dart tournament that happened this weekend.

It was a trip. It always is. There are interesting people, interesting times, lots of drama, lots of fun and lots of things that are better left unsaid afterwards.

The tournament actually sucked... at least on my part. I was overwhelmed. Too much to do, too little time, things started running behind (something that happens at other tournaments, but DOES NOT happen at the Columbia, MO Mid-Winter Classic damn it!)... I fucked up severely twice... First tiem, I left out two teams and didn't figure it out until play had already begun... Nothing to do but hide the mistake and draw it out by hand to make it work. The second, I left out one of my favorite people from Men's singles... Again, only noticed after play began and had to work everything out by hand and hope no one noticed.

They didn't. The stress of both those mistakes nearly caused an anxiety attack. It did stress me out enough to cry. I had to go hide in the bathroom for a few minutes.

Boy, the AFC is getting their asses handed to them. Is it because the Super Bowl bound Steelers don't have any players on the team or is it something else? The NFC is set to make it 21 - 0 and we aren't even close to half time. This could be a long game.

However, I do love TGonz. As a dedicated Chiefs fan, I can't blame TGonz for asking to be traded, it was horrible, but I understand. I still think he's still one of the best players in the league. I am sure I am not alone in that sentiment. While I don't care to see the NFC win, I like TGonz enough to hope he racks up the yards and the stats.

But, back to the Tournament. There is always drama. All those people, different personalities, forced to mingle and cohabitate a smallish space together. At least this year, I wasn't a part of the drama. I just got to watch from the sidelines and when it was over, I expressed my like of both people with hugs and kisses.

Darts... Darts are an interesting thing, mainly because of the people. They are touchy/feely people. In the two years I have been involved with darts, I have recieved more hugs, kisses and flat-out gropes than in the rest of my entire life. I'm not complaining, it's an interesting phenomenon, one that I suggest gets studied... Any Sociology Majors looking to get their master's or PhD and needing a thesis topic? Join darts... I don't the "society" has been thoroughly researched. Most people think it's about drinking... It's not. It's not even really about darts... It's about people. People who love each other. People who hate each other. People you call friends and love to be with even though you really only see them a couple of times a year. And it's not the drinking that makes us more "friendly." Even sober, there are lots of hugs, kisses, gropes, compliments, and just friendly feelings. Even when we do hate each other, we still love each other. Very peculiar.

And the AFC fumbles?! What the hell? Get with it! It must be the ugly uniforms (yes, I agree with something Terry Bradshaw said earlier). This is just painful... 28 - 0 with 10 minutes before the half...

Jamal Charles! Go Chiefs! They actually have a couple of players this year in the Pro-Bowl... from a very piss poor losing record to the playoffs... from 1 player going to the Pro-Bowl to 3 or 4... Improvement!

Tournaments always prove another thing to me... If you are a darter, you belong to a special type of family. They do things for you. They help you as much as they can. They teach you all types of new things. Furthermore, the diversity of people is astounding. And what other sport can you walk in off the street, join an open tournament or blind draw and play either the worst person or the best person there?

We have people in darts from all walks of life. All ages. All ethnicities. And all of them getting along. Oh yeah, there's drama and there are people who don't like other people, but it all works out in the end and those that don't get along set that aside for the tournaments or other events.

And the NFC scores again... good grief.

People in darts are making plans to help me further my business. They make purchases. They take cards. They give both away to others to spread the word. It's... mind-boggling.

In closing, while it was stressful for me and I hated almost every minute while it was happening... I love tournaments. I love darts. I love darters. And anyone who doesn't understand and thinks darts is about drinking... Remind yourself, it's because you are standing on the outside and don't really understand what is happening on the inside... It is about life... (and yes, I do find the new Zoosk commercial offensive)

Tomorrow begins the Columbia 3rd Annual Mid-Winter Classic Dart Tournament. It's going to be held at the Eagles Aerie on Stadium.

Tournaments are bad for my anxiety disorder. I have social phobia and issues with things not running on time or things going awry or just general mass chaos.

This is the way most tournaments go though.

Only, I'm in charge of this tournament. Oh joy. For someone who has zero desire to interact with others... my position really kinda sucks.

I sit behind my computer and move things along. I set up the matches (using randomizing software of course), place groups on boards and try to keep things running on time.

Let something go wrong or things start running behind and I'm also the person that people complain to and about.

Last year was there was a disasterous incident. Not disasterous for anyone else, but for me. I don't handle those situations very well. Someone was unhappy with something that was done. Blame could be placed on both parties in the situation. But it was not the other party that was bad mouthed and ranted about for FIVE hours in the bar to anyone that would listen... It was me.

Considering I'm non-confrontational as much as possible, I don't know how to handle those situations. I try to ignore them, but the things being spewed about me upset me enough to make me hide in the bathroom and cry for almost 30 minutes.

I have ignored it for most of a year, but with the tournament looming over me tomorrow... I am acutely aware of the memory and can only beg the Fates and Furies to not let it happen again.

I am filled with dread and loathing. I went around asking that people not vote me tournament director... These pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears though because I was nominated and then voted in. I'd rather be the hired help. I've managed to wriggle out of it a bit by making the other nominee "co-director". Tournaments need help and I am incable of running it by myself.

And now I have set myself up for the possibility of another, more complicated problem. I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea. I'm regretting it tonight. Chances are good that it won't be a problem at all... but there is that slim possibility that it will be and as a result, I would rather scrap the entire fucking idea. Forget it was ever suggested to me.

But, there has been a lot of time and effort put into by myself and my SO. And league does take up a lot of my "work" time. Between doing stats, helping with schedules, fielding communications, posting information, sending out emails to keep everyone informed... I worked out the math tonight, I dedicate about 10 hours a week to league during an average time. During tournament time, I dedicate closer to 30 hours and that isn't counting the amount of time I spend physically at the tournament. That is the time I spend making up the tournament schedule, creating the certificates, getting supplies, repeat postings and emails reminding people of the tournament.

Tomorrow, I'll arrive at 2 p.m. I probably won't leave until midnight. I will return on Saturday morning at 9 a.m. and my estimated departure time is the same as Friday.

And it effects every aspect of my life. Time, energy, resources, stress...

It has taken away from my work quite a bit this week and with Valentine's Day coming up, I have a lot of things to do. I have orders for chocolate covered strawberries and spa indulgence bundles and custom made jewelry... And I'm rushing around this week trying to get some of that put together while preparing for the tournament...

I think I finally got through to the president of the league tonight though. I rarely get so much as a thank you for everything I do... But I'm the one that is accessible. The President and Vice-President have jobs that mean their cell phones are unavailable at times. Neither of them checks email regularly and neither of them have a clue about our Facebook page or the amount of time it takes to send out emails about something and then answer all the responses I get... And they don't respond to text messages.

All of that seems to filter to me first so that I can mention it to my SO (who is President). If there are problems, 90% of the time, I know about it first. If there are questions or issues, I'm the one that gets contacted.

And it really doesn't bother me that I do this, but it does bother me that I rarely get any recognition for it. Even my SO is bad about thanking me for my time.

So, extra doses of Clonazepam for the next couple of days. Something to get me through the weekend without breaking out in massive stress rashes or freaking out and holing up in a bathroom to cry for 20 minutes because I just can't handle everything.

I am not a superhero. I'm barely a functional human being.

And after the tournament, I have to do stats. I actually have to do stats three different times to give "samples" of other ways to do stats. And we've revised how we are doing them this season. I did a test, it added an extra hour to how long it takes me. Doing them three different times is going to take me roughly 15 hours a week. That's 15 hours out of my life for 14 weeks. And that's just the time I will spend on stats. It doesn't include phone calls, emails, text messages, Facebook or special functions.

And then people wonder why after this season, I have requested to resign as statician... That is causing a fuss of unimaginable porportions. Nine people have asked me about it and none of them seem to really understand why it takes so much time and effort.

Plus, by the end of the year, I hope to have a physical store and not just an internet Etsy.com account. Running my own business will require a lot of time and dedictation... can I really continue to devote that much of my free time to darts?

I can't decide whether I am temporarily overwhelmed or if my life has become overwhelming. I know that sounds like essentially the same thing, but it isn't.

I feel like my life is one giant "to do list". I need to do this, do that, finish this, start that, figure out this or that or the other...

I have introduced new products in my Etsy.com store. I have been making a ton of new products to list in my Etsy.com store. One of them is a complete product line and the other is working itself into that sort of position.

Dart league is starting up, time to start playing every Wednesday and entering stats. We also have a tournament this weekend. Lots of time spent on Publisher trying to create "certificates" for placement.

And I have a friend recovering from surgery that I need to go see and spend time with, but if I go spend time with her... It takes away from all the other crap I have to do. In other words, it cuts into my "to do list".

I'm not sure this has ever been a problem for me before. I am excellent with time management. Normally, I am very capable of arranging my time and making everything fall into place.

Not lately. Lately, I find myself half finishing jobs and trying to find the time to return to them later. That isn't working for me.

Worst part about it is... I've been inspired lately. The urge to create and the success I've had at creating my new products has left me with an urge to write. Write, write, write... And I'm not. My writing suffers because I start writing and get side tracked making yet another "to do list" for tomorrow.

It keeps me from sleeping. The impulse to write seems almost biological in me. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. I was introduced to the art of writing as a small child, almost as soon as I could write my name. Books were always a thing to be marvelled at and treasured. The words on the page weaving another world to explore. I wanted to be part of that world. It didn't take long for me to learn how to put pen to paper and express that part of me.

There have always been dry spells and times when I didn't write, but... they always go away and this urge returns. I have to create. It stops me from sleeping. I thrash around in my bed with stories weaving themselves in and out of my imagination. Many a night I have sat at the screen until three or four in the morning... my fingers hopping from key to key on their own. My brain and my fingers work at almost the same speed nowadays. It's how I learned to type a little over 100 words a minute... from writing. My fingers have to keep up with my brain or things start to get jumbled.

Moments like these are different though. Dry spells, times when there was Writer's Block are so very different. Those nights, I want to write and stare at a blank page. Or type the same word or sentence over and over again until my fingers feel like they will fall off and my brain feels numb.

This isn't that... I have ideas. Plenty of ideas, swirling around, ready to come out, flow like water from a full valve and yet... no energy to do it.

Instead, I post blogs, mostly nonsensical and full of whimsy and nostalgia.

So, we are back to the original point, is it just a temporary case of being overwhelmed or have I finally taken on more than my brain can handle and let my life become overwhelming?

If it is the second, what do I give up? It won't be writing... Do I completely remove my social life (not that I have much of one now)? Do I give up some part of my artisan work? Which part? I love what I do... I love all of it. What? What? What?

Hopefully, I am just overwhelmed...

At 2:00 a.m., my furnace started acting up. I'm pretty sure you could have cooked an egg on any metal surfaces. I finally got the blower to stop, but then had to deal with the fact that it wouldn't come on for more than a couple of minutes at a time. My house went from burning up to really really cold.

I was unable to go back to sleep after that.

So, I worked. I made my prototype of my wrist cuffs (and yes, those are what you think they are).

I did some work on my Etsy.com shop. Posted some new things.

Labelled what I could of my bottles, but I ran out of labels. Sort of how my day is going.

At 11:45, I began making my lunch. At 11:55, I managed to pour boiling hot water all over my middle finger. The piece of equipment I was using to drain water out of the pan, ended up sending the boiling water streaming down the stem and it hit most of my middle finger.

The finger is red, blistered and hurts like hell. So I applied Silver Sulfidine. Then I ate my lunch.

After eating my lunch, I dropped a glass. It shattered and a small splinter went into my foot. I dug it out using tweezers and cleaned up all the blood.

I also decided to put some tassels on some scarves that I had finished. In the process of cutting the yarn, I cut myself.

Needless to say, I'm done for the day. Who do I need to call to tell them that I'm taking the afternoon off?

There is a great line is a sketch by "A Bit of Fry & Laurie" in which Stephen Fry is portraying a novelist and Hugh Laurie is portraying a "Hip" Interviewer. After some banter and talk of the book, Laurie asks where Fry's inspiration for characters come from. Fry admits that some of them do come from real life. Laurie responds by saying something to the effect "oh yeah, think you'll put me in one of your books?" Fry calls him "ideal foder for a novelist."

You'd have to see the sketch to actually get the humor... I am not concerned with that aspect at the moment though. I'm concerned with what Fry says "ideal foder."

I have always crafted a plethoria of characters among those in my real life. Those I have met and had leave impressions. Sometimes, I make composites of different people to make a single character.

In my most recent work, I started doing that with a character. The character was quickly becoming a "caricature" of a particular person though. I went back, reviewed the work and found my composite had disappeared behind the "dominant" pricklings of one of the people used in the composite.

I had to sit and think about it. It was not the character I had intended. It wasn't even close. I wrote some more pages with him and found that the same thing kept happening. I deleted him and started over... No avail... His personality was too dominate or at least one aspect of his personality.

It leaves me in an interesting situation. To continue the story, would to continue the character. I'm not sure I want that. He is a bit of a twit (if I do say so myself). Likeable enough, but there are those wonderfully horrid moments when every thing about him gets under my skin and I want to kill him.

Hard to do in a story about immortals.

I started over for about the 3 millionth time about two months ago. This time I completely removed him from the character composite, hoping to let one of the other dominant personality traits take hold.

They didn't. Even without him in the composite, he crept back in and took over the character.

I stepped back and re-evaluated. This character is my main character's life partner... and by life, I do mean eternity.

And that seems to be the problem. Eternity. 100 years is a long time to be monogamous, but it is doable. However, thousands upon thousands of years? Not so much. It isn't actually about the sex at that point, it's about the amazing amount of time spent together. The traits that are coming out are the ones that drive my character CRAZY.

I think it requires me to rethink my plans for monogamy and eternity.

It's the reason I choose a composite for the character. Take a bit of him and a bit of him and a bit of her and toss them in a blender, puree for 1 minute, pour out into cocktail shaker, add a bit of this person, shake well and tada! Perfect mate.

Not so much. I got "Whiny Mate" who is exhibiting signs of commitment phobia. And my main character, half way through the story, is already starting to suffer from "wandering eyes."

How many lovers can one woman have during the course of eternity before she is considered a slut?

This is a conundrum that will have to be solved. How do I get around the problem of "Whiny Mate"? Honestly, my composite was good. All the best of those I thought best suited the main character, with some annoying personality quirks to add a touch of reality...

Do I scrap it again and start over or run with it and see if it works itself out?

The reason behind all this thought: I am having a real bang-up day. I have ruined a blender and a handmixer (go me!). Made an absolute mess with some crafting stuff (I spilled body mist all over the floor when the handmixer slipped out of my hands, crashed to the floor and broke). I started a scarf to pass the time and found that I kept dropping stitches, so I scrapped that idea, pulled it all out. And after sitting around for almost an hour, trying to figure out what to do with myself, I decided to write.

Wow, what a disaster that turned out to be too! I couldn't remember everything that had gone on, so I read back about twenty pages. That's when I discovered my composite sucked.

Today might just be one of those days when you aren't allowed to touch anything. I was going to clean my laptop (hardware cleaning) and decided I didn't want it destroyed, so I didn't bother.

Might be the only smart thing I've done all day.

I have made 2 batches of bath salts, shoveled my sidewalk and most of my driveway, played on the internet, did taxes, paid bills and posted stuff to my Etsy store.

I have accomplished much...

As a result, I have a small headache, my shoulder is killing me (I still think the damn surgery didn't work right), I smell like strawberries and feel very very broke.

Once I finish making the complete bath bundle of my Relaxation Blend, I think I will stop using it. It is what causes the headache... probably the lavender in it.

And despite what the weather people say about us getting only 8 inches of snow... I measured it, it is a lot closer to 10 inches.

I tried to make a snowman, but the snow was too powdery.

I might take the rest of the day off. I might take a nap. And it is just now 11 a.m.. Most productive.

And I HATE snow! I should move.

Since the beginning of December, I have sold 6 custom made scarves, one scarf that I made just because I could, 15 bars of botanical soap, and three pieces of jewelry. It doesn't sound like much, but it's more than I've made in one month in some time.

And I keep hoping it's the start of a real customer base.

But there is a problem. I read all the tips and tricks on becoming a "successful" artisans. They all say the same thing... I need more female friends.

The number one tip: Have parties. Like Tupperware or Pampered Chef, but with your own goods.

Only, I can count on one hand the number of female friends I have. Not a very good party. Especially since one of them is my business partner and therefore, unlikely to spend money on my goods.

So I'm not sure what to do. I feel like a real bitch trying to get my few female friends to throw parties... I know they know more women than I do, but it's such a hassel and pain to host a party.

I am taking the items with me everywhere I go... which is interesting. It creates a ton of baggage. Like over the weekend, I made some money, but it required to me take five bags along for a weekend trip.

Ugh...

I haven't said much about the new year... Possibly, because it means little to me. No New Year Resolutions were made, I never keep them anyway. No tales of the festivities that happened.

All in all, it was a good beginning. Celebrations with friends. A Midnight Kiss for luck.

As I move further into the month, I have to wonder... Does a good New Year's Eve actually mean you will have a good year? So far, nothing is really going right for me.

Today was a rather mundane day. No crafts to make, nothing to do really except work on mocking up dart stats. I didn't really want to do that.

I spilled my lunch on my living room floor when I ran to answer the phone. I burned myself cooking dinner on a hot griddle. Burned pancakes on said griddle. Slipped on some snow and busted my ass. Had a promise broken to me. Dinner (not burned pancakes, I do not eat pancakes) made me sick as hell and gave me heart burn. Odd since it was shredded wheat, the original, no frosting and I don't add sugar. I kind of like just the wheat.

And this god damn insomnia. It continues.

My SO has a cough and sinus issues. Will he do anything about it? No. Did I expect him to? No. So he is lying comfortably in my bed, zonked out on NyQuil and occasionally waking for a couple of seconds to cough.

My New Year really hasn't started out that great. Oh, there are some perks and highlights, but mostly the year has been a disaster... Much like my day.

Monday I went yarn shopping. Custom orders, needed specific colors... they didn't have them. No one seemed to have them. I crocheted three other scarves though that day. My hands are still a little sore and the right (my needle hand) is actually swollen. So I put off crocheting today.

Unfortunately, I am waiting on supplies for expanding my bath & body line. So, no soap making, lotion making or making of anything else.

And a swollen right hand isn't good for making jewelry. So... I piddled with stats and dreamed big of the day when I would actually own a physical store.

I should become more proactive there. I'd make it a resolution, but I'd fail to complete it. Just like all the other resolutions I've made.

Strangly, the writing helps the insomnia. I am starting to feel tired. Like a recap of my day was all it took to make me sleepy.

Tomorrow, no food... clear fluids only. Fuck. I do not like jello or broth of any kind. I'm not much of a "clear fluids" kinda gal. I like vegetables and rice and breads and a slew of things I can't eat.

But the day is approaching. The last "uninvasive" test that they can run. I hope they find something. If not, we will have to start some invasive testing. Removing my gall bladder has been suggested as well as the appendix (because there is something weird that can happen to them... I've only heard of it once before my doctor mentioned it). Testing my pancrease is also on that list.

I think I would rather have Crohn's than Pancreatis. I have an aunt with it. She was diagnosised some 20 years ago. It's awful. Nothing they can do but give you an open script for pain meds. It took a while, but she's addicted to her vicodin. And every couple of years, they have to change it, take her off to lower her immunity to it.

I have enough issues without being on pain meds for the rest of my life...